This article is exactly what you think it is. A guide to becoming friends with benefits (FWB) with people. And yes, being FWBs is perfectly okay. I’ll use Gabzy’s latest EP “Malone”, as the guiding light. After all, it’s perfect for the occasion. The project was released in December 2020 and executive produced by Melvitto.
For the longest time, I was torn between making this into a thread on Twitter and writing an actual article. You can easily figure out which option prevailed. For this to really make any sense to you, listen to the project as you read. Also, remember that I am not an authority on the subject matter, I am only letting the music guide me. Here are 7 easy steps to becoming friends with benefits from Gabzy’s project.
“Spontaneous, you know that’s my style”Gabzy— Brazil
This is the most important step. The perfect friend with benefit is a Malone. To be clear, Malone can either be a man or a woman. You might be asking yourself, “What the Hell Is Malone?”
Malone is fine. Malone is fly. Malone is in demand (hot kek). Malone is rich. Malone dresses well. Malone doesn’t ask for commitment from people. Malone asks people if they’re sure they want to break their heart. Malone is emotionally unavailable (this is very important).
“I’m here for a good time, not a long time”Gabzy— “As Friends”
This is where a lot of people miss it. Throughout Gabzy’s Malone one recurring theme is his honesty. It’s easy to be honest. Or maybe it isn’t. But one thing is sure, honesty reduces confusion and uncertainty.
If you don’t want a relationship, let the other person know (I promise you, it’s not hard). This is probably why the project’s sets out with deeply honest chants over strings and drums.
Have A Life
“I’m a different person on the weekend (That’s not true)”Gabzy— “Toxic”
Being friends with benefits is easy. However to enjoy the ease, you need to have a separate life. This way, if anything happens, you’ll be a little insulated. Contribute to the country’s GDP by having a job, volunteer for something, have an active nightlife— whatever you do, have a separate life. As toxic as this might sound, it’s giving “half” to your FWB that makes it work. This is why the next step is so important.
Define The Relationship
“I don’t want love girl. But I’ve got love for you… Tell your friends were friends but we do more than friends”Gabzy— “As Friends”
You need to figure out for yourself how far you’re willing to go. If you don’t do this in your own head, there’s no way you’ll not muddle things up.
After this, you’ll need to be clear on what you want from the other person. It’s okay to only want one thing. However, the most important thing to not want is commitment. Once you commit to a relationship, that’s the end. You can join relationship Twitter in doing “my view” “her/his view”.
Don’t Disappoint Your Partner
“Cut off all my girls, I told them bye bye”Gabzy— “Must Be Sprung”
From odd calls to odd visits— don’t do things that your friend with benefits didn’t sign up for. Don’t do things they didn’t send you to do. People tend to do this in an attempt to guilt trip their FWB into committing to more. I’m here to tell you that if you do it, you’re on your own. Remember that at the core, you’re just two people who have decided to have fun as you flee from feelings.
An important point to make here is the place of discretion. For instance, FWBs work out when neither of you goes running your mouth to your guys or friends— especially you! It’s sweeter when your business isn’t out there.
Don’t Loose Guard
“Lately you’ve been telling me you want more. Baby, don’t start that”Gabzy— “As Friends”
When you’re alone and thinking about your FWB, buying cute things they didn’t ask for, cutting people off for your FWB, or hoping it’s your FWB when your phone rings— I’m here to tell you that you’re already loosing guard. You cannot afford to be sprung when you’re not ready for commitment (or when the other person isn’t).
Lucky for you, Gabzy’s Malone has everything for sticky situations. The next rule is very helpful when you’re about to loose guard.
Remember The “As Friends” Rule
The rule of “As Friends” states that:
“no expectations, no disappointment. Less attachment, more enjoyment”
As far as situationships and FWB relationships go, this rule will save your life. When in doubt remove expectations and attachments— you’ll be fine.
The rule is helpful for instances where your FWB starts malfunctioning. When you’re also feeling sprung, it’s also important to remember the “As Friends” rule. Every time you have appointments, drop your feelings at the door. The fact remains that you can enjoy everything in 1:48 to 2:09 of Gabzy’s “As Friends” without committing to more. After all, the reason you’re in this is for enjoyment.
You can listen to Gabzy’s Malone here: